Back to work

Now that I’m back in California, I’ve returned to work at kids camp.  I’ve forgotten how much I like working with kids, being in New York has turned my soul black.  You can get them to believe anything (“Yup, I’m 25,” says my 43 year-old co-counciler) and they think you are the shit, the coolest person on the planet, the end-all-be-all in awesome people they have met in their lifetime.  And being a camp councilor, I get to take part in the fun part of childhood – making animals with pipe cleaners, painting figures, creating Gak with glue and starch, endless games of Sorry and eating sugar cookies that you’ve decorated with an entire tube of frosting.  It’s a good time and I can’t believe I’m getting paid for it…and I’ll probably be sick of it in about 3 more days.  If only the magic could last.

Women in comedy, part 2

Ah yes, Christmas vacation.  Nothing like coming home to a room that’s no longer yours and is otherwise used as storage.  Currently, I’m using one of my mom’s boxes-o-junk to balance my suitcase on and an actual crate (extra points because it’s full of VHS tapes of me when I was 3) as a nightstand.  But enough about how much my family loves me – onto the goods!

This time I want to address another aspect of comedy that makes it a bit more difficult for us women-folk; subject matter.  The subject matter I’m referring to encompasses the main points a comedian or comedienne addresses during his/her piece.  When it comes to the s.m. (as I’ll now call it), women tend to hold back on it.  Men, I feel, have an easier time exploring, using and toying with a wide array of subjects – religion, parents, employment, getting drunk and/or high, even sex.  Going back to my idea of men’s stage presence, that same idea plays into the selection of the material itself.  The male gender seems to have an ease, a way of addressing these subjects without it seeming unnatural in any way.  Try this – picture your favorite male comedian in your head (Dibs on Mitch Hedberg!)  Now repeat one of his one liners (“I got a business card ’cause I want to win some lunches.”)  Personally, I don’t think a woman could deliver the same line.  It wouldn’t seem like a natural subject for a woman – what woman wants to joke about how much she likes eating lunches?  It just doesn’t flow for a girl!  (And that sucks.)  Before I back myself into a corner, let me explain what I think are the stereotypical s.m. for the females.

The most obvious s.m. for women is relationships.  This includes, but is not limited to, the following; boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, life partners, friends, ex-friends, marriages, break-ups and the exchange of a phone number with a guy she flirted with for half an hour at the bar.  Why does it feel more natural for a woman to base her s.m. on relationships?  I feel like I know why – women are the ones in any relationship to think, or overthink, about how things are going.  It’s easy to talk about and relate to other women because you all know we do it.  (Don’t eventry to deny it.)  Another comfort zone is the old “I got my period today…”   line.  One thing that sets us apart from you men-folk is that we bleed from our hoo-ha…but do we really have to resort to our menstrual cycle for jokes?  Yes, it’s something women have in common.  No, I don’t want to hear all about how you’re PMSing and you made your boyfriend cry because of it.  There are tons more – getting hit on in bars/clubs/birthday parties, bad haircut, got a pimple – but these are the basics.

Truly successful comediennes are able to comfortably jump into any s.m., using the stereotypical points as starting points and gently branching out.  I do feel that it is sexist to be forced into certain subject matter, but it’s what works.  Some of the best female stand-up acts I’ve seen start off with a bit about getting hit on in a bar or the drama within their circle of girlfriends…but then they are able to bring in other subjects without making them seem forced.  I do feel that as a woman trying to break into the comedy scene, these subjects are what work for women and I will have to use them.  Of course, it’s where you are able to deviate without seeming as though you are deviating is what separates the women from the girls.

Women in comedy, part 1

Now that I’m thoroughly sick with a cold and have had enough drugs to kill a horse, I have time to put on my old favorite Billy Joel LP (52nd Street!) and write something worthy of reading.

The real subject I want to write about is women in comedy.  Given the fact that I am a woman and am interested in comedy as a profession (or hobby, whichever pays the bills), there are many factors women have to take in that the males in this area don’t consider.  Comedy is a tough business to crack in itself and it doesn’t make it easier having boobs and a vagina.

First of all, trying to break into the male-dominated world of stand up is a challenge.  In order to be a successful woman comedian, she needs to have the whole package and then some.  Women comedians, I feel, have to meet different standards in order to be a hit.  Their stage presence must be commanding, yet not cocky.  That’s one aspect many women fail at, they try to overcompensate by dominating the stage with a Sarah Silverman type attitude – obnoxious, condescending and big-headed.  I’ve seen quite a few comediennes jump on-stage with gusto and a “Fizzy Chick” martini in their hand – only to have their jokes fall flat because of their patronizing stage presence.  It’s terrible to say, but men somehow have an easier time finding this balance.  Men can command the stage, but at the same time seem like your buddy from college.  Just look at the famous comedians today; Dane Cook, Pablo Franscico, Russell Peters, Mitch Hedberg, Demetri Matrin, Jim Gaffigan, Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien, Robin Williams, Carlos Mencia, George Lopez…the list goes on and on.  Each one of these men have that ‘buddy’ aura about them, a level of comfort that allows you to laugh with them as though you’ve known them forever.  Women have to find a different type of aura and I have seen some successful ones – innocent, street-smart, insecure, ‘basket-case’, ect.  We cannot be the ‘buddy’, if women in stand-up want to be successful, and must find an original manner in which to own that spotlight.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!

Airports – gotta love ‘em

Airports are a bitch.  You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.  I’m not even talking about airport security, I mean the entire airport environment in general.  So while I’m waiting for my flight back home, I think I’ll write a little diddy about airports.  Here are my complaints…I mean, observations.

1.      No matter where you check in, once you pass security, your gate will be on the other side of the airport.  This means walking down long hallways with your carry-on that seems to gather more weight as you move towards your own destination.  While on this quest, you will pass the following -  a Starbucks, several magazine stands, a Brookstone (and you know you just want to go inside and play with the mirrors that make your face look 20 times bigger), an airport bar complete with one bar fly, at least two stores containing magnets and t-shirts you can pass off as thoughtful gifts, a frozen yogurt place or some other kiosk that offers ‘healthier’ options, a Chile’s  (baaaaaaby back ribs!) and another Starbucks, just for good measure.

2.      You can’t flirt with the really cute guy waiting at the gate for the same flight.  More often than not, he is traveling with his family and it would not score you points to try to put yourself out there in front of his mom.  So unless you’re ready to make a commitment, meet the family, develop a good vibe with him, only to then become separated by seating arrangements and be internally tormented on whether you should get up and talk to him when the seatbelt sign turns off or if he might make that move and maybe you should wait…just don’t make the effort.  It’s not worth it and most likely, neither is he.a.     

    *On a side note, there is also the chance that he’s traveling with his girlfriend/good-female-friend-who-is-trying-to-become-more-than-a-friend-and-will-give-you-the-look-of-death-because-you-are-entering-her-territory/wife.  Learned that one from experience.  I smiled at this really hot guy eating a sandwich at my flight gate, who smiled back.  Green light…until the girl he had been standing in front of turned around and glared at me.  If looks could kill, I’d be joking about this with Jesus right now.

3.      Babies and children under the age of 10.  Enough said.

4.      I don’t know about anyone else, but the lack of distractions at the airport, I feel, encourages one of two activities – 1) eat or 2) shop for useless crap/junk food and/or celebrity gossip magazines.  What better way to spend an hour than stuffing my face with an Auntie Anne’s pretzel while learning about Britney Spear’s little sister’s pregnancy?

      * Speaking of celebrity gossip magazines…I went to Strand bookstore (18 miles of books.  I literally jizzed my pants the first time I went there) and bought an amazing book to occupy my time at the airport.  I made sure I put it in my carry-on, in an easy-to-access pocket.  I get to the airport, go through security, find my gate, claim a seat, settle in…and now I have no desire to read it.  Why?  Because I could read the fictional tale behind JFK’s assassination conspiracy….OR I could read about just why The Hills’ star Heidi Montag called off her gazillion dollar wedding.  I think you know which direction I chose.

That’s about all I have to say about that for the moment.

Hi

I’m simply amazed at how easy it was to start this thing up.

And now I won’t be able to shut up.

Except for right now because I need to go study for finals.